Is your boyfriend/girlfriend foreigner? Or you plan to have
foreign boyfriend/girlfriend?
Does it make you cool?
NO, IT’S NOT
Here, I will tell you why.
Well, I am so experienced in this case because I have some foreign
EX boyfriends. They are from Turkey, Libya, and Egypt. Now I am in relationship
with someone from Morocco. Do you want to know why I am still having
relationship with foreigner? The answer is one, I don’t know. I just feel the
love, I don’t think about anything else. You may have same reason with me. Yes?
I’m not here for letting you to break up or something bad else,
but I want to remind you about these problems that may appear after some times
in your relationship. If you have strong love, I am sure you can survive. Some of
these problems are crucial, even I couldn't survive. Then, you have to concern
about these.
1. Language
Of course, to have a foreign bf/gf you have to be able to speak 2
languages. The question is, are you fluent in his/her language? Or if both of
you use English, are both of you fluent in it? It’s classical problem. Language
is the way we communicate. When you have lack of vocabulary, how can you tell
what is in your mind? How can you express your thought and feeling?
Even if we are fluent in that language, we can still get
misunderstanding. I was so often get misunderstanding because I used wrong word
or I used idiom which he does not understand. It’s so difficult, really!
Moreover, if both of you decide to marry, language will be the big
problem between two family. This is for you who have different mother tongue
with your lover. E.g. your family speaks Indonesian and your lover’s family
speaks Arabic. Then both of families cannot speak another language. So how can
you communicate with his family? how can he communicate with your family? and
how can both of families communicate to decide the marriage? The answer is you
and your lover translate the language. Could you imagine that? It’s so tiring.
2. Culture
You may think different culture is interesting. It is not at all.
Why? It’s because you may find 180 degree different culture with your own
culture. It’s also possible to you feel the stereotype. Stereotype is you feel
your culture is the best and other cultures are wrong. I suggest you to learn
about her/his culture before deciding to marry or meet his/her family.
One more,
This is the crucial problem of culture. Even I couldn’t survive. It
is about the culture in marriage. My ex from Libya broke me up because of this.
He couldn’t break his culture. His culture is he can’t marry with girl from
another country. He only can marry with Libyan girl. It was so difficult
problem, so I suggest you to ask your lover about culture in marriage in the beginning
of your relationship.
3. Money
This is really big problem if both of you don’t have much money. Before
you deciding to have relationship with foreigner, you have to think about the
money. You need extra money when having foreign bf/gf.
You need money for buying the flight ticket to meet him/her, you
need money for buying internet connection, and you need extra money to marry. The
biggest problem is when you deciding to marry. You really need much much much
money.
Last time, my boyfriend broke me up because of money. He lost his
job, so he lost his passion. I tried to motivate him, to calm him down. But he
said it’s so difficult to marry. So, before you have stable job, don’t try to
have any relationship.
Well, those all the crucial problems that you may face. I hope you
concern about it and you need to ask about those topics (marriage, culture, money)
to your foreign boyfriend/girlfriend in the beginning of your relationship.
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